The world is mine

Åh, jag beställde en skiva och istället för det vanliga standard-nu-har-vi-skickat-din-order-bekräftelsemailet fick jag det här: 

Dear,

So we just put some stuff in a package, and then we took that package (and a bunch of others) to the post office. And the people at the post office looked at us funny when we walked in with all the packages because they're maybe getting a little sick of this. But we aren't getting sick of it! We think it just gets cooler every day.

So, below is information about your order, including a tracking number that you can use to stalk your package as it makes its way to your front door.

There is also a list of the stuff in your package, but we might have also put some extra stuff in there for you, because it's the only way we feel comfortable showing our love. We wish we could be more expressive, but since we had our hearts broken in middle school, we've had a hard time opening up.

If you have any questions, just reply to this email. We're always there...waiting for you. But you don't have to write or anything, only if you want to. We want to neither encourage or discourage you from writing, just...the opportunity is there if you ever feel like it...sorry, are we rambling? Aaaaanyway...

We're sure you'll love whatever it is you got, and we'll be waiting patiently for your next order!

Alltså, jag fattar ju att det här också är ett standardmail och att ingen har suttit och knåpat ihop det åt mig personligen (även om det faktiskt känns lite så). Men det här standardmailet är ju så mycket bättre. Så mycket finare. Man blir helt enkelt så mycket gladare. Mer sånt åt folket.